By Cory Thorson, AMFT

Have you ever found yourself replaying the same conversation over and over, unable to stop worrying about the future, emotionally overwhelmed, or exhausted from constantly trying to hold everything together?

Many people assume these experiences mean something is wrong with them. In reality, they may simply reflect a brain network that has become stuck in a pattern that was originally designed to help.

Your brain is made up of multiple systems that work together to help you think, feel, connect, solve problems, stay safe, and pursue goals. Each system serves an important purpose. The challenge is not that these systems exist. The challenge occurs when one of them becomes overactive, underactive, or inflexible.

Mental health is not about staying calm all the time, eliminating difficult emotions, or thinking positively every moment of the day. Instead, healthy functioning often depends on flexibility: the ability to move between different mental, emotional, and nervous system states as life changes.

When we understand which system is active, we can stop asking, “What is wrong with me?” and begin asking a more useful question:

“What part of my brain is trying to help right now, and what does it need to return to balance?”

Let’s explore the major brain networks that influence our daily lives, how they help us function, and what happens when they become stuck.

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The Default Mode Network: The Storytelling MindThe Default Mode Network (DMN) is active when we reflect on ourselves, remember the past, imagine the future, and make meaning from our experiences. It helps create our personal narrative and sense of identity.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Creative insight Healthy self-awareness Empathy and perspective-taking Meaning-making Spiritual or existential reflection	Rumination Shame spirals Anxiety about the future Over-analysis Depressive self-focus Becoming lost in memories or fantasies
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Grounding through the senses Movement Focused attention on the present environment	Feeling “lost in thought.” Difficulty staying present Feeling mentally distant Heavy or collapsed posture

The Central Executive Network: The Problem-Solving MindThe Central Executive Network (CEN) helps us plan, make decisions, solve problems, and pursue goals.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Deep concentration Strategic thinking Productivity Clear decision-making Healthy discipline	Perfectionism Hyper-control Cognitive rigidity Overworking Difficulty resting Emotional suppression
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Play Creativity Social connection Body awareness helps restore flexibility.	Jaw tension Tunnel vision Mental fatigue Feeling compelled to keep working

The Salience Network: The Prioritization SystemThe Salience Network helps determine what deserves our attention. It acts as the brain’s switching station between internal thoughts and external demands.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Intuition Accurate prioritization- Emotional awareness Adaptive responsiveness	Hyper-vigilance Threat scanning Catastrophizing Emotional reactivity Constant alertness
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Safety cues Supportive relationships Predictable routines Slow breathing	Tight chest Startle responses Feeling constantly “on guard.” Difficulty relaxing

The Limbic System: The Emotional BrainThe limbic system helps process emotions, attachment experiences, memory, and survival learning.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Emotional vitality Secure attachment Healthy bonding Motivation Emotional flexibility	Emotional flooding Trauma activation Fear conditioning Attachment panic Anger spirals Shame collapse
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Regulation before insight Safety soothing Nervous system stabilization	Intense emotional reactions Tears, shaking, or overwhelming emotion Fight, flight, or freeze responses

The Social Engagement System: The Relational BrainThis system helps us understand others, connect emotionally, and maintain healthy relationships.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Authentic connection Collaboration Playfulness Emotional resonance Secure relationships	People-pleasing Social masking Fear of rejection Withdrawal Emotional contagion
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Boundaries Authenticity Emotionally safe relationships	Constant monitoring of others’ reactions Difficulty expressing needs Social exhaustion Fawning behaviors

The Reward System: The Motivational BrainThe reward system drives motivation, curiosity, pleasure, and goal pursuit.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Curiosity Healthy motivation Purpose-driven effort Sustainable engagement	Addiction cycles Doom scrolling Constant stimulation seeking Compulsive achievement Burnout
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Reconnect with purpose Values and intrinsic meaning rather than chasing constant stimulation	Restlessness Cravings Difficulty slowing down Needing constant novelty

The Parasympathetic Nervous System: Rest and RecoveryThis branch of the nervous system supports restoration, healing, digestion, and calm connection.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Calm presence Restoration Felt safety Openness Recovery	Excessive passivity Numbness Freeze responses Shutdown
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Gentle movement Sunlight Social connection Manageable goals	Brain fog Low energy Feeling disconnected Difficulty initiating action

The Sympathetic Nervous System: Mobilization and ActionThis branch prepares the body for action and helps us respond to challenges.
When It’s in Flow	When It Gets Stuck
Energy Assertiveness Athletic performance Productivity Adaptability	Chronic stress Anxiety Irritability Panic Burnout
What Helps	Signs You May Be Stuck
Slow breathing Calming sensory input Relaxation practices Restorative activities	Racing thoughts Elevated heart rate Muscle tension Sleep difficulties

A Quick Self-Check

Which description feels most familiar right now? Once you identify the active system, ask yourself:

“What does my system need right now?”

Not every state needs to be fixed. Sometimes it simply needs to be seen, felt, or validated.

The Goal Is Not Perfection

Every system serves an important purpose. They are all part of you, and none of them are bad. The goal is not to eliminate anxiety, avoid difficult emotions, or remain calm all the time.

The goal is flexibility.

A healthy nervous system can focus when needed, rest when appropriate, connect with others, process emotions, respond to challenges, and then return to balance.

Mental health is often less about avoiding difficult states and more about developing the ability to move through them without becoming trapped.

The question is not:

“What is wrong with me?”

A reframed question may be:

“Which system is active right now, and what does it need to return to balance?”

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References

• Menon, V. (2011). Large-scale brain networks and psychopathology: A unifying triple network model. Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 15(10), 483-506.
• Siegel, D. J. (2020). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (3rd ed.).
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation.
• van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma.
• Siegel, D. J. (2018). Aware: The Science and Practice of Presence.
• Hayes, S. C. (2019). A Liberated Mind: How to Pivot Toward What Matters.

Disclaimer: This article is intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for medical or mental health treatment. If you are struggling with persistent emotional distress, consider consulting a licensed mental health professional. Call or text us: (801) 515-2282